I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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