Don't you send me to vm
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
