In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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