it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
