wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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