did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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