I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
