im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
