My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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