Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So many bounce houses so little time
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
