she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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