just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
