clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
