omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
...so i touched it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
