There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize