Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
