Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my being single is dangerous.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
