JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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