Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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