I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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