Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
