a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
