dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
