i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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