thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
