Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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