like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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