I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
