you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
