FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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