could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
