In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
