Will you blow on my dice?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
