i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
