weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
