So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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