You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize