Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
