So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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