Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
