But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
