He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
