Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
