I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My bed smells like the plague
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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