Nicole vs. Life
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
