Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
