It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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