my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm always down for nudity.
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