Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
