Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
