***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
