Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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