Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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