If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize