the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
