R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
