I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
