Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
