Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We don't watch enough power rangers
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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