how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
