im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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