her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
