They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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