Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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