She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
