alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She's the barista slut.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
