I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
