speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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