well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
