I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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