Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
