so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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